Wednesday, May 5, 2010

And the gloves come off...

I think it's true what everyone always says... being married is HARD work! In the beginning, it's all about having fun and making sure you don't piss your partner off. But it doesn't stay that way for long, and it shouldn't. This first year has been extremely rough... with lots of tears and a lot of hurt feelings, but when I look back on what kyle and I have been through, I wouldn't change it for the world. Yeah, we have our problems and we are working through them, but I can't even believe how close I feel to him even when we are not getting along. I am learning to rely on him for emotional strength and I am learning to accept his help and his love. He has been my best friend since we started dating but I am starting to see now that he wants that and that I'm his too. There is so much that we don't agree on and I used to think that wasn't ok, but when I really stop and think about it, we don't need to. We are learning to compromise and learning to know each others needs without even having to express them. I have learned so much lately from my brother and my sister in law. Kyle and I had a big fight a few days ago (I will not go into detail because it's not important) but I called Sheena because I needed to cry and my mom wasn't home. She talked me down and the best thing I took out of that conversation is that her and my brother are not on "Team Shannon", but they are on "Team Kyle AND Shannon" and after talking to my mom, I realized she is on that team too. Whenever I am in a lot of pain I email my brother who is coming home from his mission in less than 2 months... Jay has never even met kyle but he knows how good Kyle is for me and he knows how much I love him. He is nothing but supportive to us. They have never once said anything negative about kyle because they know how much I truley do love him and how much I want to be with him. I have spent a lot of time thinking and praying about everything lately and I have come to the realization that for most of our marriage, I was on "Team Kyle" or "Team Shannon". I support Kyle in everything that he does and I love him with everything that I am, but it's time for me to stop being on one side or the other. I need to stop beating myself up for things that I have no control over. School is finally out so we hopefully have more time to do more fun things. I also need to stop beating up Kyle for things he has no control over. So starting today (I actually started a few days ago, but I'm writing the blog today) I am officially on "Team Kyle AND Shannon"!

So thanks mom and Sheena and Alan. What great examples I have to help me be a better me! And I will forever be grateful for Jay and the blessings that his mission has brought into our lives!


  1. That is a really great way to look at relationships! Thanks for writing this =)

  2. I love reading an honest blog. Marriage is work, but so is motherhood and gaining eternal salvation. Anything that matters takes work! I learned from my first marriage that it's totally okay to not agree, and that we didn't have to. I've been able to bring that with me to this marriage and just remember that we are two different people with two different backgrounds combining our lives into one. I love what you wrote, Shannon! I can tell that you love your hubby.