Monday, August 24, 2009

What got me through the day...

I know I already posted today... sorry to bore you with more... but I have been having a rough week (and it is only Monday).  My "pregnancy emotions" are everywhere... some things that I'm feeling are super legit and others are not, but either way, it has been a struggle.  
I spent all last night crying until about 3 am then got up today around 8 and cried until about noon.  I feel it's all for a legit reason though... I missed class today, which irritated me because it was my own fault, so I went and got online and checked my email.  I always get my emails from Jay on Mondays, so I always have that to look forward to.  It has been such a trying week, and his letters always make me smile because I am so proud of him.  He wrote something to me that I don't know if he will ever get to know how much I needed it today... it made my whole day.  So I thought I would share, and not for the purpose of bragging, but so I can look back and always remember how He really does know me, and must have known I would need this.  I won't share the whole letter, but he was telling a less-active member about his family and about me and kyle.  How my plans for my life are law school and I am still pretty much a newlywed and I'm pregnant and finishing school and she said (the next bit will be directly from his letter)
"I respect your sister so much for taking all that on at once." I was like you dont even know how legit and stubborn my sister is:) She doesnt give up. It was way sweet. Us LaPratts we are way stubborn thats what i have found on my mission. Most people are so passive but all of us are way fiery:) I love it. 
Today was one of those days for me... I considered giving up... it would have been easier to just say "No school while I'm pregnant.  I'll just work"  or even "I don't want to be mom... I never have wanted that, I wanted a career and this is messing with my plans" and just lived on that depression.  So although he may never see this... thank you Jay for being one of the best men I'll ever know.  Thank you for knowing me and believing all of that in me.  It is definitely what I needed to hear.  And I needed to hear it from someone besides my husband :)  I can't wait for Jay to come home and get married... he is going to be awesome.  He is the only person who constantly reminds me how excited he is for "little baby", which is what I need to hear since it wasn't my first plan in life.  I love you Jay! 

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